I have an internal conflict.
I really feel like i need a lot of relaxation time, I.E. Vacation. A TRUE vacation. One that you can forget about your problems, dilema’s, and other stuff that bothers you.
However, my huge sense of responsibility causes me to be disturbed by the notion of finding the sensible thing to do. Like finding a job, or go to study.
While looking for what’s gonna be the new direction in my life i decided to try and enroll to Business school. For that i have to study and do the GMAT test.
The last date for admission is nov. 21 which means i need to take the GMAT exam prior to that, which means i have about 3.5 weeks to study, and i need to obtain some GMAT prep material first.
I also have the obligation of finding a job, and doing all sort of tasks like BLOG maintanace, dishes clearing, Hard drive freeing, and other stuff.
I also want to work on my Voyager model, and other models, but i’m at a stanstill because there are a few things i can’t figure out about it, mainly decideing if it’s worth spending time on. like “deithering an aztec pattern on the main hall, with drybrushing ? or airbrushing ? or remove the first unseccessfull attemps ? should i go by the instruction books ? or by pictures ? too much to decide now, lets postone it”. so i end up not working on it.
Problem is, i have a lot of games i want to play. I just finished playing Larry the other day (i still want to write a more full report about ir). And i’m affraid to start a new game, which will cause me to “disconnect” form my obligations.
Or maybe i should. and that way i could juggle between the stuff i need to do.
I also need to go to the gym. I don’t feel like going to the gym.
I want to want to do somthing. Right now, i don’t know what i want to do and it’s annoying.
And i also want to be exicted about doing it…
Which nothing of the stuff i have in my to do list is all too exciting to me.
I was excited about Larry, and now it’s over.